This lil guy is my latest creation... but I dont know what his name should be... 

My new riding jacket.. I love it.. I bought it for about $200 from Honda.

This is our newest lil guy.. well actually he is bigger than Kali.. He is only 2 yrs and still just a big PUP! He's a pretty pitt tho.. I still like my rotts and huskies but I doubt I will ever get to have my dogs.. :(

fear con't.

Alot of what I said.. well ok.. I did have a great time when I was actually with Jonas. He did ALOT for me and all. I would never take that back. and now.. I havent been hanging out with any guys so I wouldnt start a huge fight or an argument or anything with Kevin, like it use to be with Jonas.. Now I have been so depressed cause I dont see any friends. Kevin thinks if I go to school events I would have plenty of people that would talk to me and guys are drawn to me. . but thats not true. At school. I hardly talk to anyone except to a few that I went to High school with. I dont even know most the peoples names that are in my classes.. I am use to being around people all the time. In school or not. I was always going somewhere and doing something. Now I am just home all the time. the other day I went to lunch with Laray and Adam and I felt bad cause Kevin wasnt there and I didnt tell him Adam was going yet. I saw Adam at school when I went to pick Laray up.. I felt to bad even doing that.. 

Maybe after everything I should just curl up.. lose all contact.. just say hi every once in awhile on myspace maybe.. and that way I could just leave and go where ever with out any ties to this place. Even though no one really ever talks to me.. There are people I still care about.. IDK :(

artwork

This was another drawing assignment.. Its 3 chairs..

My first painting! 

I know its not that good and I am still working on it. I just have not had time to do anymore to it.. 

My Charcoal drawing.  I did this for my drawing and composition class. I was a still life that my teacher set up. 

This was suppose to be a self portrait.. but I squished my face to much!  I didn't want to add color cause I would mess it up. I could do more shading though.

 

So this was complete boredom.. My hand was black and green for a few days after this one!

now my step-dad

My step-dad got admitted to the hospital this morning. He has an intestinal blockage.. They are draining his stomach and if it dont work then surgery! He wont take care of himself and he has diabetes. he is suppose to be on a diet but isnt. He quit drinking a yr ago which is a plus.. so he isnt getting pancreatitous now.. but because of all the food he eats he is doing this to himself. It will be the 3rd surgery because of this..

worried

So the whole thing with Jonas is ok now. I still feel really bad about hurting him, and I still am too afraid to hang out with alot of my guy friends. I dont want to start fights with Kevin or make him upset. I really couldnt handle that again. 

My niece and nephews will be here in July... I am so excited!

Then again.. I am scared, worried and depressed about everything else.. between work and school, I never see my friends, My dad has a nerve disease and is slowly dying it might be this year or many many years.. there is no telling. I am just so stressed and worried right now!

I have been talkin to Jonas more latley That makes me happy since I need someone right now

My April updates....

I have been so busy lately and stressed. I have been so behind on my school work. I have to do a gargoyle in clay (which Christina said looks like a demonic cat!) I have to pant a poster over my favorite book, play, or movie.. I do not know what my favorite is. I am going to attempt to do Acheron ( a book). I am also working on a graffiti piece, we had to use a 3-4 letter work and make is unreadable. Not the easiest for me. Luckily I have a take home test in New Testament ( wed- mon). I guess a Miracle happened! I have tues-thurs off. 3 days in a row... CRAZY!! I am excited for May! YAY! 

My step sisters baby shower is May 18th

Mom leaves for the Dakotas and then to Wyoming to see Mount Rushmore and Yellow Stone And my nephew lives in Wyoming!  May 18th

Leave for Italy May 20-30

Cousins Britt’s wedding May 31st

Brothers 35th birthday May 31st

Concert in Eufaula Cross Canadian Ragweed May 31st 

Cousin Kyles wedding June 6th

Chriss had her baby 3 weeks ago. Uriah Lee Nelson Jr. 

Mary and her baby boy Zidane is doing good Robert (her husband) left for basics. So She is having a tough time. 

I am nervous about next semster--I am switchin my major to business. It is going to be alot harder. but I am ready for a change. I am actually getting tired for color theory and 3-d design. i love art but I a getting so burnt out! 

SO I broke down on Kevin the other day. I never have time to see any of my friends. I see them for about 30 max at a time. I never get out of the house except when me a Kevin go somewhere dont get me wrong. I love going places with him. but I need friends too.. as I have said in a previous blog. I havent wanted to go out with a guy or an ex cause I have been there and boyfriends dont really like that. Kevin wants me to go now cause he says I havent been very happy lately.. He thought I wasnt happy with him or living here, but thats not it. I just wanna go out and see my friends but I hardly ever have freakin time between school and work and I try and be with Kevin during my free time. I have had a really bad attitude lately due to many reasons. I use to not get mood swings hardly at all, they have been BAD this past month or too. But I am going to try and fix that. Hopefully once school is out it will help ALOT! 

Kevin took me out to eat in the City last night. We went to OUTBACK steak house. It was yummy. the scraps went to the dogs.. Kevins burger was HUGE! We are going to paln a day and go to Norman.. I wanna go to the little river zoo.. I didnt even know Norman HAD a ZOO!  lol. I missed the medieval fair. BUT! We are also gonna plan a day to ThunderValley. can u believe I have never been there! We are gonna go with a bunch of friends. Eric and Pete have some bikes and Pete is going to take his Busa on the track.  

almost there

SO my life is about to get alot harder. I am going into a business degree. Not sure what yet. YAY! MORE FREAKIN HOMEWORK. So anyways, Kevin and I are doing GREAT! He is actually passed out on the couch right next to me.. He has to work early in the morning so he is always so tired. Last week My bro's step son shot himself. That was a hard time for my family. He was only 15. 

On a better note, Kevin and I went shoppin the other day. I got a new Laptop ( a Macbook)... $1700!!!! Then I spend another $360 on a riding jacket and Kevin a new Helmet. I am going to get me a helmet next. I will need one for the trips. Like to Thunder Valley and stuff. So I will have to break in a new helmet. I want it to match atleast somewhat to my jacket. SS (Strength and Speed) is the brand. Its black and pink writing. I almost got a Icon camo one. but I am so small only X-small jackets fit!!!!! 

So in school, I got invited to Phi Eta Sigma. Thats exciting I just hope I dont mess it up! 

Well its past 1 am... NIGHT!