fear con't.

Alot of what I said.. well ok.. I did have a great time when I was actually with Jonas. He did ALOT for me and all. I would never take that back. and now.. I havent been hanging out with any guys so I wouldnt start a huge fight or an argument or anything with Kevin, like it use to be with Jonas.. Now I have been so depressed cause I dont see any friends. Kevin thinks if I go to school events I would have plenty of people that would talk to me and guys are drawn to me. . but thats not true. At school. I hardly talk to anyone except to a few that I went to High school with. I dont even know most the peoples names that are in my classes.. I am use to being around people all the time. In school or not. I was always going somewhere and doing something. Now I am just home all the time. the other day I went to lunch with Laray and Adam and I felt bad cause Kevin wasnt there and I didnt tell him Adam was going yet. I saw Adam at school when I went to pick Laray up.. I felt to bad even doing that.. 

Maybe after everything I should just curl up.. lose all contact.. just say hi every once in awhile on myspace maybe.. and that way I could just leave and go where ever with out any ties to this place. Even though no one really ever talks to me.. There are people I still care about.. IDK :(